


Star Allies, but they have phones

by Saturniidaez



Category: Kirby (Video Games)
Genre: Chatlogs, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, galacta will show up. just wait, marxoranza is eventual, theres some swearing too, this is my first fic please go easy on me, yet another kirby chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturniidaez/pseuds/Saturniidaez
Summary: Marxchanged their name toMilky Way Wishes.Milky Way Wishes: oh FUCK yeah.King DededechangedMilky Way Wishes’ name tobastard clown.bastard clown: oh fuck you.
Relationships: King Dedede/Meta Knight, Magolor/Mark | Marx/Taranza
Comments: 25
Kudos: 135
Collections: Kirby Chatfics





	1. Introductions

_8:20 PM_

**Kirby** added **Meta Knight, King Dedede, Bandana Dee, and 15 others** to "The Star Allies."

**Taranza** : a

**Taranza** : hi.

**Kirby** : Hi! ^w^

**Marx** : huh wuh

**Magolor** : oh shit, group chat time. hell yeah.

**Gooey** : :O

**Gooey** : can you add dms???

**Kirby** : Oh, I forgot, sorry! :(

**Kirby** added **Dark Matter Swordsman** to "The Star Allies."

**Taranza** : wait, shouldn’t we not be swearing around kirby?

**Dark Matter Swordsman** : what

**Meta Knight** : It’s fine, he knows not to repeat it.

**Gooey** : !!!! hi!!!!!

**Dark Matter Swordsman** : Oh, hello Gooey!

**Taranza** : oh, cool. fuck.

**Marx** changed their name to **Milky Way Wishes**.

**Milky Way Wishes** : oh FUCK yeah.

**King Dedede** changed **Milky Way Wishes** ’ name to **bastard clown**.

**bastard clown** : oh fuck you.

**Magolor** : yo we got any fuckin uhhhh. mods in here?

**bastard clown** : magolor please speak like a human person.

**Magolor** : no

**Kirby** : me, meta and dedede are mods! :D

**Magolor** : epic.

**Susie** : I was working on a machine, what happened?

**Magolor** changed **Susie** ’s name to **capitalist**.

**capitalist** : Thanks, that really explains it.

**Magolor** : :)

**capitalist** : Don’t smile at me, motherfucker.

**bastard clown** : :)

**capitalist** : MARX.

**Meta Knight** changed **King Dedede** ’s name to **Glorified Penguin**.

**Glorified Penguin** : METY I TRUSTED YA.

**Glorified Penguin** : AND YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?

**Kirby** : hmmmmmmm.

**Kirby** : we’re missing someone!

**Kirby** added **Prince Fluff** to "The Star Allies."

**Kirby** : hi!!!

**Prince Fluff** : woah, ive never been in a group chat this big before. 20 people???

**Kirby** : yeah, i added everyone who helped me defeat void termina. the mage sisters are here too!

**Glorified Penguin** : **@Bandana Dee, @Rick, @Kine, @Coo, @Adeleine, @Ribbon, @Dark Meta Knight, @Daroach, @Francisca, @Flamberge, @Zan Partizanne** speak.

**Meta Knight** : Why would you do that.

**Dark Meta Knight** : gross. why is he here.

**Meta Knight** : Oh, fuck you.

**Bandana Dee** : aw, i was half asleep… :(

**Glorified Penguin** : oops.

**Flamberge** : hold on, im trying to catch this shiny giratina

**Magolor** : oh shit, congrats on the shiny giratina!

**Flamberge** : jamanke

**Francisca** : she keeps yelling at the giratina and i think she started crying at one point. this is the 15th ultra ball shes thrown.

**Flamberge** : YOU CAN’T JUST TELL EVERYONE MY STRUGGLES

**Francisca** : i can and i will.

**Zan Partizanne** : Bonjam.

**Adeleine** changed their name to **Ado**.

**Ado** : hi everyone!

**Ribbon** changed their name to **Ribbo**.

**Ribbo** : hi :)

**Kine** : Coo is out flying and Rick is asleep right now.

**Daroach** changed their name to **The giant rat that makes all of the rules**.

**The giant rat that makes all of the rules** : cool

**Glorified Penguin** changed **The giant rat that makes all of the rules** ’ name to **Rat Bastard**.

**Rat Bastard** : un-cool.

**Kirby** : it’s getting kinda late! I’m gonna go to sleep :)

**Meta Knight** : Good night, Kirby!

_2:34 AM_

**Magolor** : waga baga bobo.

**Meta Knight** : Go to sleep.


	2. in which magolor can't sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll get to actual plot points soon

_8:38 AM_

**Kirby** : good morning!

**Taranza** : good mKJSDKJK’;dfkldjldsKJHDKJUFIHU;.’’

**Kirby** : ?

**Taranza** : sorry, dropped my phone on my face.

**Magolor** : are you OKAY?

**Taranza** : yeah i’m good. 

**Taranza** : anyways, good morning!

**Taranza** : wait.

**Taranza** : magolor weren’t you up at 3am?

**Magolor** : uh. wait how do you know that

**Taranza** : by reading what was sent while i was asleep?

**Magolor** : oh. anyways bye im gonna work on something!!

**bastard clown** : i dont think mags knows what sleep even is

**Rat Bastard** : okay but mood

**bastard clown** : thats! not good!

**Magolor** : oh, says the person who stayed up for a whole week one time

**Kirby** : i thought you said you were going to work on something?

**Magolor** : … bye

**Taranza** : oh, before you leave, mags! can you stop by my house later?

**Magolor** : got it! seeya then

**bastard clown** : ooooo someone has a crush

**Taranza** : no! i just have a gift for him!!

**bastard clown** : i was just joking dont worry jkdhsfkjhkdjf

**Taranza** : oh, okay. sorry i got so defensive.

**bastard clown** : ur good

**Meta Knight** : Good morning, everyone. How have your days been so far?

**Taranza** : pretty good for me! i got up pretty early today and decided to take the time to water my flowers. the dreamstalk should be in bloom soon too!

**Meta Knight** : That’s good to hear. How are your flowers coming in?

**Taranza** : the roses are in bloom currently! they smell very nice.

**Meta Knight** : That’s nice. Well, I promised Bandana Dee that I’d help him with training today, so I’ll be back in a bit.

**Taranza** : bye!

_5:26 PM_

**Fransisca** : good afternoon, everyone. i’d like to announce that flamberge now has a shiny latios.

**Magolor** : ooo, congrats on the latios, flamberge!

**Flamberge** : jamanke! i sadly had to resort to using my master ball to catch it because it just would not stay in anything else

**Magolor** : sad.

**Flamberge** : should i shiny hunt for another legendary or go for a bisharp?

**Magolor** : i’d say bisharp, sos hunting is really fun

**Flamberge** : very true

_8:59 PM_

**Kirby** : it’s getting kinda late, i’m gonna sleep! good night everyone!

**Magolor** : good night, kirby!

_2:48 AM_

**Magolor** : anyone else awake?

**Taranza** : please, for the love of god, go to sleep.


	3. moons wet (and a small update)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! just letting yall know that i wont be posting as much for a while as i'm back in school now.  
> also THIS chapter is why there's a light angst tag on the fic

_10:45 AM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Magolor** : MOON’S WET

**Meta Knight** : What

**bastard clown** : SMACK BARM MOON WET

**Taranza** : that! sure is a way to say that there’s water on the moon!

**Meta Knight** : Oh.

**Magolor** : moon’s wet.

**Glorified Penguin** : i hate this group chat so much.

**Meta Knight** : Hold on, someone wants to talk to me. I’ll be back in a minute

**Taranza** : bye!

**Glorified Penguin** changed **Magolor** ’s name to **smack barm moon wet**

**smack barm moon wet** : thanks.

_-DM - **Meta Knight** -_

**Galacta Knight** : im back

**Meta Knight** : Good to have you back, Galacta. I was starting to get worried.

**Galacta Knight** : yeah, mission took a little longer than expected. that doesn’t really matter though, what happened while i was gone?

**Meta Knight** : Kirby made a group chat for all of his friends.

**Galacta Knight** : interesting, can you get him to invite me?

**Meta Knight** : I’m afraid not, there’s a Halcandran and three people with close ties to a Jambandran. If they find out about you being free there’s a good chance you could be sent back into the crystal.

**Galacta Knight** : hmm… that is quite a setback.

**Meta Knight** : indeed. By the way, could you stop by the Halberd later?

**Galacta Knight** : of course, see you then.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**egg** : and that’s why betelgeuse is the best star DONT at me.

**flower boy** : understandable

**Meta Knight** : Wait, who are egg and flower boy?

**bastard clown** : egg is magolor and flower boy is taranza

**Meta Knight** : Thank you.

**capitalist** : Wrong, UY Scuti is the best star.

**egg** : NO

**egg** : I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS BETELGEUSE SLANDER

**flower boy** : i think canis majoris is the best.

**bastard clown** : DAMN BETRAYAL

**egg** : TAZZY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. I TRUSTED YOU AND NOW I AM LAYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING

**bastard clown** : tazzy.

**egg** : fuck.

**egg** : listen, we’re best friends. i’m allowed to call him nicknames

**flower boy** : :)!!

**egg** : i. did not get enough sleep last night. i’m gonna take a nap.

**flower boy** : sleep well!

**egg** : you too!

**egg** : wait.

**bastard clown** : DSKFHSKJD

_3:28 PM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Flamberge** : OH MY GOD.

**Flamberge** : SO. I FOUND A GROUDON AND I WAS LIKE “oh, i dont like its shiny so ill just catch it as is”

**Flamberge** : BUT WHEN I WENT TO CATCH IT. IT WAS SHINY. FIRST ENCOUNTER SHINY GROUDON

**egg** : HOLY SHIT

**bastard clown** : it heard you talkin shit

**flower boy** : nova i wish i had that luck

**Flamberge** : too bad

**egg** : don't be mean!!

**Flamberge** : i WILL be mean

**egg** : terrible.

_1:42 AM_

_-DM - **Magolor** -_

**Taranza** : are you awake?

**Magolor** : yeah, what’s wrong?

**Taranza** : thinking about her again.

**Magolor** : oh dear, wanna talk about it?

**Taranza** : yeah. that’d be nice

**Magolor** : i’m here for you, tazzy.

**Taranza** : thanks, mags. i just. miss her so much. she meant so much to me and knowing that she’s gone hurts so much. i can’t help but think it’s my fault too, i mean, i gave her the mirror…

**Magolor** : it’s not your fault, tazzy, you never knew what would happen when you gave her that mirror. 

**Taranza** : yeah, you’re right. thank you.

**Magolor** : of course. wanna come over to my place to calm down?

**Taranza** : yeah, that’d be nice.

**Magolor** : okay, see you then.


	4. oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just bad

_9:49 AM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**egg** : good morning everyone! a certain spider is snoring very loudly and woke me up!

**bastard clown** : i. why is he in your house.

**egg** : listen he wasn’t feeling very good and i invited him over to calm down.

**bastard clown** : okay thats fair.

**Meta Knight** : Is he okay now?

**egg** : oh yeah, he calmed down way before he even went to sleep.

**egg** : unrelated but do any of you ever think about void termina? what the fuck was that?

**bastard clown** : bad!

**egg** : thats fair

**egg** : i am. scared of how long meta knight’s been typing.

**Meta Knight** : From what I’ve gathered Kirby is a reincarnation of Void Termina. Void Termina will sometimes reincarnate, and what form that reincarnation takes depends on the energy surrounding it. The Zeros are also reincarnations of it, but with negative energy. Kirby is a positive reincarnation of it.

**egg** : _what._

**bastard clown** : _huh._

**egg** : hm. what the fuck.

**Meta Knight** : We’re also currently questioning if other members of my species are also reincarnations of Void Termina.

**egg** : wow lets. avoid this topic from now on! what the fuck.

**Meta Knight** : That’s very understandable. It’s a lot to take in.

**egg** : honestly i mainly meant that fucking master crown attack. i almost had a panic attack seeing that shit.

**bastard clown** : oh yeahhhh i remember that. it was scary seeing you so upset.

**Meta Knight** : It had a master crown attack?

**egg** : yeah but i don’t. wanna talk about that!

**Meta Knight** : Oh, of course. I can imagine it’s a very sensitive topic for you.

**egg** : i’m going back to sleep.

_1:03 PM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Kirby** : i don’t think i was supposed to read through that.

**Meta Knight** : Fuck. I’m sorry you had to see that, Kirby.

**Kirby** : i’m gonna go to patchland and talk to prince fluff.

_-DM - **King Dedede** -_

**Meta Knight** : I think I fucked up.

**King Dedede** : i gotta say, talking about that in a place where kirby could see it was a bad idea.

**Meta Knight** : I realize this. I should probably apologize to Kirby.

**King Dedede** : you should probably wait til he gets back though.

**Meta Knight** : I will.

**Meta Knight** : Today has been a trainwreck already.

**King Dedede** : this isn’t all your fault.

**Meta Knight** : But it is. If I just hadn’t brought that up none of this would have happened.

**King Dedede** : still, it’s not your fault.

**Meta Knight** : If you say so.

_8:24 PM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**bastard clown** : WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO CREATURE SPOTTED HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

**Meta Knight** : What happened? What did you see, Marx?

**bastard clown** : IT WAS PINK AND FLYING I DONT KNOW

**egg** : a bronto burt? you saw a fucking bronto burt?

**bastard clown** : NONONO IT HAD FEATHERED WINGS AND WAS BIGGER THAN A BRONTO BURT

**egg** : oh, kirby with the wing ability maybe?

**Kirby** : i haven’t been out with the wing ability today!

**bastard clown** : THE WINGS WERE WHITE AND ALSO IT WAS LIKE? HOT PINK NOT THE SAME SHADE AS KIRBY

**egg** : oh shit. i know what you saw.

**Meta Knight** : You do?

**egg** : that was galacta knight, my good friend. and seeing him free is not a good fucking thing!

**bastard clown** : w. what does that mean. mags im shaking what does that mean.

**egg** : so, long ago there was a warrior, the strongest warrior in the galaxy. he was sealed away in fear of his powers being used for evil, and ever since then if he’s been released he causes absolute destruction. fights anything he sees, he’s even destroyed planets. you seeing him is NOT a good fucking thing.

**bastard clown** : OH FUCK

**Glorified Penguin** : i’ll let my waddle dees know. they can tell me if hes been spotted.

**Kirby** : i’ll keep an eye out too!!

**Meta Knight** : As will my meta-knights.

_-DM - **Galacta Knight** -_

**Meta Knight** : You fucked up.


	5. Forbidden Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii i'm not dead! chapters are just real slow because im not as hyperfixated on kirby and also school!

_1:23 pm_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**flower boy** : so! yesterday sure was a day!

**egg** : yeah. yeah.

**bastard clown** : uhhh anyways! 

**bastard clown** : i think it would be pretty cool if i pulled a prank on this random noddy i found

**egg** : MARX NO

**flower boy** : do it

**bastard clown** : hell yeah. also i dont think itd care mags. all noddies care abt is sleeping really.

**egg** : …

**egg** : okay fair. go for it.

**bastard clown** : i. it didnt even wake up oh my stars. its still fucking sleeping

**egg** : KJSHFKJDHFGKDJGF

**flower boy** : IT’S STILL SLEEPING???

**Meta Knight** : What is happening in here?

**egg** : MARX TRIED TO PRANK A NODDY AND IT DIDN’T EVEN WAKE UP

**Meta Knight** : What did you do, Marx?

**bastard clown** : popped up out of the ground in front of it and laughed as loud as i could

**Meta Knight** : Why?

**bastard clown** : idk i just wanted to.

**Meta Knight** : I will never understand you.

**bastard clown** : good.

**Kirby** : hi!

**egg** : oh, hey kirby! how are you doing today?

**Kirby** : good! i’ve been looking out for Galacta Knight!

**egg** : that’s good! we need as many eyes as we can get looking for him.

**Meta Knight** : My Meta-Knights have been very vigilant. So far we have not spotted any sign of him.

**egg** : that’s good! er, not the “not spotted any sign of him,” part. the other part!

**Meta Knight** : I knew what you meant.

**egg** : anyone who sees him PLEASE let me know. he’s far too dangerous to be free from his crystal.

**Meta Knight** : Will do.

**flower boy** : got it!

**Kirby** : of course!

_-DM - **Galacta Knight** -_

**Meta Knight** : Galacta, you have to let us find you. You can’t keep ignoring me, if anyone other than my Meta-Knights finds you you will be sent back into the crystal.

**Meta Knight** : This is a very serious issue, please let us know where you are.

_- **The Meta-Knights** -_

**Meta Knight** : Galacta hasn’t been responding to anything I’ve been sending him. Have any of you spotted him yet?

**Blade Knight** : no luck, sir. we’ve been searching far and wide and haven’t found a single trace of him.

**Meta Knight** : Fuck. Does he not realize how grave this situation is?

**Sailor Dee** : We’ll continue to search for him as hard as we can, sir!

**Meta Knight** : Thank you.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**bastard clown** : anyways thats how i pissed off a bunch of bronto burts enough for me to get kicked out of a grocery store

**Meta Knight** : … What did I miss?

**egg** : a lot! so much!

**flower boy** : there is so much happening in that story what the fuck… i have so many questions.

**bastard clown** : well you’re not getting any answers.

**Meta Knight** : I’m so glad I decided to read through that. What the fuck is wrong with you, Marx?

**bastard clown** : so much.

_2:54 pm_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**flower boy** : I HAVE ACQUIRED FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDG1P9EIOFUEORI900LERIEI

**egg** : NO HE HAS NOT.

**flower boy** : GOT MY PHONE BACK. ANYWAYS MAGOLOR DOES THE LIL EKEKEK THING CATS DO

**egg** : NO I DON’T

**flower boy** : HE SAW A BIRD OUTSIDE AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED DOING IT

**egg** : NO I DIDN’T

**bastard clown** : OHH MY STARS THATS GREAT

**egg** : NOOOOOOOOO

**Rick** : CATBOY.

**egg** : RICK???

**Rick** : hi

**egg** : god. i cant believe you would betray me like that, taranza!

**flower boy** : :)

**egg** : hm

**egg** : i have some forbidden knowledge too actually

**flower boy** : wait.

**egg** : taranza.

**flower boy** : DON’T YOU DARE.

**egg** : has.

**flower boy** : NO

**egg** : paw pads on his fingers.

**flower boy** : NOOOOOOOO

**bastard clown** : BEANS

**egg** : THEY’RE IRIDESCENT TOO

**bastard clown** : RAINBOW BEANS…

**flower boy** : IM GONNA KILL YOU MAGS

**egg** : IM RIGHT HERE, DO IT COWARD.

**Glorified Penguin** : meta purrs

_**Several people are typing...** _


	6. Taranza is gay, the chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Galacta's kinda panicking. just a little bit.

_1:23 am_

_-DM - **Marx** -_

**Taranza** : you awake?

**Marx** : yea? whats up?

**Taranza** : you’re really good friends with mags, right?

**Marx** : yeah, why?

**Taranza** : i. may have a bit of a crush! i just don’t know how to tell him, and i was wondering if you could help?

**Marx** : oh you came to the Wrong person i am also madly in love with this dumb catboy. 

**Taranza** : ALKDJFSLKDJFLKS… OH MY STARS WE BOTH HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM, HUH?

**Marx** : APPARENTLY! THIS IS SO FUNNY YOU COME TO ME FOR HELP AND FIND OUT IM THE SAME FUCKING WAY

**Taranza** : GOD WE ARE JUST PINING IDIOTS HUH.

**Marx** : so! what now!

**Taranza** : uhhh we just die i think!

**Marx** : cool, bye!

**Taranza** : JKDHFKJGDFHKJ

**Taranza** : anyways im actually gonna sleep! good night!

**Marx** : night!

_11:23 am_

__

__

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Kirby** : good moooorning!!!

**egg** : morning!

**bastard clown** : yoooo whats up!

**egg** : looking for galacta. as usual.

**bastard clown** : of course

**Kirby** : i still havent found him! :(

**egg** : don’t worry, it might take a while to find him!

**Meta Knight** : My Meta-Knights are searching far and wide.

**egg** : taranza’s still asleep, also. that’s rare!

**bastard clown** : damn, taranza’s asleep past 10am? fucked up if true

**Meta Knight** : Must not have been able to sleep last night.

**egg** : yeah, probably.

**Meta Knight** : Hold on, someone’s messaging me. I’ll be right back.

_-DM - **Meta Knight** -_

**Taranza** : hi. hi 

**Taranza** : not sure how to word this!

**Meta Knight** : I thought you were asleep?

**Taranza** : nope! just offline because i’m kinda hiding

**Meta Knight** : Hiding? Why?

**Taranza** : you’ll find out!

**Taranza** : you’re married to dedede, right?

**Meta Knight** : Yes?

**Taranza** : okay cool. did you ask him out, or did he ask you out? this is important i swear.

**Meta Knight** : I originally asked him out.

**Taranza** : okay, okay, cool.

**Taranza** : so.

**Taranza** : how do you ask someone out?

**Meta Knight** : Who?

**Taranza** : mags.

**Meta Knight** : Hm. With Dedede it was honestly a mistake. I accidentally blurted out my feelings, which I do not recommend. So I can’t actually help you, sadly.

**Taranza** : dammit.

**Meta Knight** : I’m sorry I couldn’t help.

**Taranza** : no, no, it’s fine! i’m just upset because you aren’t even the first person i asked, and he couldn’t help either.

**Meta Knight** : Ah, I understand how that could be frustrating.

**Taranza** : thank you anyways!

**Meta Knight** : of course.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Meta Knight** : I have returned.

**egg** : what happened?

**Meta Knight** : Sailor Dee needed some help with something.

**egg** : dammit, i was hoping it’d be galacta news

**Meta Knight** : not yet.

_-DM - **Galacta Knight** -_

**Galacta Knight** : holyyyyyy shit i really fucked up. i fucked up so bad.

**Meta Knight** : Where are you! We need to know your location!

**Galacta Knight** : i’m uhhh. in whispys forest i think.

**Meta Knight** : Okay. I’ll direct the ship to where you are. Don’t leave.

**Galacta Knight** : okay pkay. fuckkkkkkk wgy did i have tp get caufht.

_- **The Meta-Knights** -_

**Meta Knight** : Head towards Whispy’s Forest. Galacta Knight is currently positioned there.

**Captain Vul** : Understood. We’ll get there in no time.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Kirby** : i just found a white feather outside of whispys woods! ill check inside to see if its galactas!

**egg** : nice! i think we’ve finally found him!

**Meta Knight** : The Halberd is on the way.


	7. knife just dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello i also have a tumblr if you wanna check it out! the url is saturniidaez i post art sometimes

_12:43 PM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Kirby** : i checked everywhere but i couldnt find him!! i found a lot of white feathers in the forest though.

**egg** : he probably escaped then. we were so close…

**egg** : wait, meta, didnt you say you were heading there too? you HAD to have seen him at least flying away, right?

**Meta Knight** : I saw no trace of him. The Halberd is on high alert though, we should find him soon.

**egg** : damn.

_- **The Meta-Knights** -_

_**Meta Knight** added **Galacta Knight** to **The Meta-Knights**_

**Meta Knight** : Sailor, can you show Galacta to the room he’ll be staying in now that he’s on the Halberd?

**Sailor Dee** : Of course, sir!

**Meta Knight** : Thank you.

**Galacta Knight** : thank you so much for finding me and helping me. i truly mean that.

**Meta Knight** : It is no problem. I am always willing to help out my friends.

_-DM - **Meta Knight** -_

**King Dedede** : you know where he is, dont you?

**Meta Knight** : What do you mean?

**King Dedede** : you know exactly what i mean.

**Meta Knight** : I do not know Galacta Knight’s location.

**King Dedede** : he is dangerous.

**Meta Knight** : He is scared.

**King Dedede** : he didn’t seem very scared when he attacked us all those times!

**Meta Knight** : Do you remember who struck the very first blow?

**Meta Knight** : I did. I struck first and he defended himself because he was scared.

**Meta Knight** : He attacks back because he doesn’t want to go back in the crystal. He was trapped in there for millions of years, wouldn’t you be scared if that happened to you?

**King Dedede** : okay, fine. ill play along for now. i wont tell magolor.

**Meta Knight** : Thank you.

_-DM - **Marx** -_

**Taranza** : okay, now that everyones not freaking out. i asked meta and he was No help.

**Marx** : fuck

**Taranza** : uhhh lets wait a while to actually tell him. wait til everything calms down, yknow

**Marx** : yea, that makes sense

**Taranza** : so how are we gonna go about this anyways? are we Both gonna ask him out??

**Marx** : “hey mags will you date us”

**Taranza** : KJSDKFJS. I DONT THINK THATS HOW WE SHOULD DO IT.

**Marx** : what do you mean, thats a Perfect way to ask him out AKJDHKS

**Taranza** : idiots, the both of us

**Marx** : anyways im sure well figure it out before everything calms down!

**Taranza** : yea!!

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Meta Knight** : I think we should give up on trying to find Galacta Knight. So far he hasn’t attacked anyone, and we don’t even know how long he’s been on Popstar. All he’s done is avoid us at all costs.

**egg** : hmmm… thats probably a good idea actually. if he was gonna attack he would have already. we’re just wasting resources and sleep.

**Meta Knight** : Exactly. If he does attack we will expect it because we know he’s here. I’ve fought him before, I can do it again.

_-DM - **Marx** -_

**Taranza** : we did Not figure it out before everything calmed down!

**Marx** : DAMMIT.

_3:35 PM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**bastard clown** : GUYS GUYS I HAD AN IDEA

**egg** : you have those?

**bastard clown** : w

**bastard clown** : fuck you

**bastard clown** : ANYWAYS!!! we should have a game night!! maybe tomorrow?

**Meta Knight** : I’m interested.

**egg** : oh nice. what games do you have in mind?

**bastard clown** : game actually! only one! just dance!

**egg** : oh no.

**flower boy** : YESSS

**egg** : marx i hope you know this is gonna be hell

**bastard clown** : oh dont worry, i know how competitive taranza is in just dance

**bastard clown** : anyways who wants to join!

**flower boy** : oh you KNOW im in

**egg** : why not!

**Meta Knight** : I’ll join as well.

**Flamberge** : FUCK YEAH

**Zan Partizanne** : I think you have competition, Taranza.

**flower boy** : nice, its always more fun with actual competition

**rat bastard** : oh im absolutely down

**bastard clown** : i forgot you were in here.

**rat bastard** : same!

**bastard clown** : okay mood

**Meta Knight** : what time should we be there?

**bastard clown** : how does 6pm sound?

**egg** : sounds good to me!

**flower boy** : i’m down then!

**Meta Knight** : Same here.

**rat bastard** : got it!

**Flamberge** : thats good with me!

**bastard clown** : wait i forgot to mention

**bastard clown** : its knife just dance!

**egg** : _its WHAT_


	8. oh no... 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for robbing yall of knife just dance

_9:59 PM_

_-DM - **Meta Knight** -_

**Magolor** : Okay so you’re acting really fucking suspicious.

**Meta Knight** : What do you mean?

**Magolor** : I know damn well that if Galacta flew away you saw him. I know how closely you watch out when you’re looking for someone. I’ve been on the receiving end of that. There’s no fucking way you didn’t see him.

**Magolor** : You’re hiding something Meta Knight. You let him get away.

**Meta Knight** : I would never let him get away.

**Magolor** : But you fucking did! You literally let him get away!

**Meta Knight** : Unlike you, I’m not a liar. I legitimately did not see Galacta Knight leave.

**Magolor** : Fuck you.

**Magolor** : I’m not discussing this anymore. Expect me at the Halberd at some point within the next few days.

**Meta Knight** : I’ll be waiting.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**bastard clown** : I FORGOT TO MENTION KNIFE JUST DANCE WAS A FUCKING JOKE ITS REGULAR JUST DANCE DONT WORRY

**flower boy** : KJASHKDJSDFHKSJ

**rat bastard** : sad.

**rat bastard** : i was looking forward to knife just dance.

**bastard clown** : too bad. fucker

**rat bastard** : WHAT THE FUCK MEAN

**bastard clown** : wait why the fuck is mags offline hes like. never offline?

**Glorified Penguin** : metas offline too. so i wonder if thats related?

**bastard clown** : weird.

**flower boy** : okay unrelated but do you ever sleep marx?

**bastard clown** : very rarely! i really only sleep when mags makes me because i dont actually have to sleep. havent had to ever since nova

**flower boy** : oh, weird.

**flower boy** : hmmmm i’ve fucked up my sleeping schedule

**bastard clown** : go to sleep!!

**flower boy** : i will, i will!

**rat bastard** : imagine sleeping at 10pm. what a loser.

**flower boy** : hey. fuck you.

**rat bastard** : anyways go to sleep i saw u up at 2am this morning

**flower boy** : i was about to!!

_6:45 AM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**egg** : Okay I didn’t want to be public about this matter but since he was being uncooperative last night. I have reason to believe Meta Knight knows the whereabouts of Galacta Knight.

_**Meta Knight** silenced **egg** for 1 day_

_**Glorified Penguin** unsilenced **egg**_

**Glorified Penguin** : let him speak.

**egg** : Thank you.

**egg** : Anyways. As anyone who has been on Meta Knight’s bad side knows, he doesn’t let you get away when he’s looking for you. If you lose him he will find you again before long. And not only did Meta say he’d lost Galacta, but very soon after he said this he decided to call off the search for Galacta.

_**Meta Knight** left **Star Allies**_

**bastard clown** : oh shit

**egg** : He blocked me, of course he did.

**Glorified Penguin** : ill try to talk to him.

**flower boy** : i wake up because of messages and it’s this. what the fuck.

_-DM - **Meta Knight** -_

**King Dedede** : meta you need to come back online. this really isnt looking good for you if you dont explain yourself. i believe you when you say galacta isnt bad, but the others dont. youre putting both yourself and galacta in danger by doing this.

_- **Star Allies** -_

**Glorified Penguin** : its been almost 15 minutes and he still isnt responding.

**egg** : I can go to the Halberd

**Glorified Penguin** : trust me, you do not want to do that.

**flower boy** : this is so much to process… im gonna lie back down.

**egg** : yeah i understand. take as much time as you need tazzy

**bastard clown** : so does this mean metas like? bad?

**Glorified Penguin** : oh shit.

**egg** : what?

**Glorified Penguin** : the halberd is taking off

**egg** : THIS MOTHERFUCKER

**egg** : HE’S LEAVING.

**Bandana Dee** : this isnt good…

**Kirby** : what’s going on???

**egg** : you don’t need to worry about it, kirby. we can handle it.

**Kirby** : okay…

**flower boy** : it’s only 7am and today is already a trainwreck.

**Glorified Penguin** : he’s actually leaving.

**egg** : hes acting like a fucking child, no offence, kirby.

**Kirby** : none taken!

**Glorified Penguin** : he really is.

**Glorified Penguin** : if he actually explained what hes doing like he did with me we could have avoided all of this.

**egg** : he’s keeping us from re-capturing the most dangerous being in the galaxy, that’s what he’s doing.

**Glorified Penguin** : he told me galacta isnt dangerous. hes just scared because he’s been trapped in the crystal for so long and only attacked because meta attacked first. i trust meta.

**egg** : “i trust meta” even though he’s been lying to us this whole fucking time?

**Glorified Penguin** : hes been doing it to protect his friend.

**egg** : his “friend” is a million year old criminal who was trapped away for being dangerous.

**Glorified Penguin** : he was trapped away because the others feared his power. from what ive heard he never fucking attacked anyone before he was sealed away.

**egg** : i’m not fucking talking about this anymore

**Glorified Penguin** : you said meta was acting like a child but now you’re acting like one too.

**egg** : i said i’m not talking about this anymore. what part of that do you not fucking understand.

**flower boy** : could you at least take this to your dms this is stressing me out so much.

**bastard clown** : yeah mood this is. a lot.

**egg** : shit, sorry.


	9. Finding the Halberd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo this chapter is a bit late bc stuff and things have been happening irl! decided to add some non-chatfic elements. I'm absolutely open to constructive criticism as this type of writing... isnt my thing!

_7:13 AM_

_- **Star Allies** -_

**egg** : okay, im sorry. i agree that i am 100% in the wrong here, i should have listened instead of brushing everything you said off. if you and meta knight trust galacta, ill trust the two of you.

**Glorified Penguin** : thank you.

**egg** : so how are we going to let meta know we aren’t planning on sending galacta back to the crystal now?

**Glorified Penguin** : uhhhh

**Glorified Penguin** : lemme try something

_**Glorified Penguin** added **Meta Knight** to **Star Allies**_

_**Meta Knight** left **Star Allies**_

**egg** : w.

**egg** : really?

**bastard clown** : HAHAHSHASHAH

**Glorified Penguin** : okay.

**Glorified Penguin** : that was a dumb move, you’re allowed to laugh.

**flower boy** : JKSHKDJFHSKDJS

**flower boy** : also! even if we do get meta back in time, i wont be able to make it to just dance tonight. i visit the dreamstalk the 20th of each month, remember?

**bastard clown** : OH YEAH, sorry tazzy!

**flower boy** : you’re good!

**egg** : anyways yeah how. are we gonna get meta back.

**egg** : wait i have an idea.

**egg** : i can find the halberd with the lor and tell him myself! i got us into this mess, i can get us out of it.

**Glorified Penguin** : hes. definitely gonna attack you

**egg** : oh yeah.

**flower boy** : i can come with you!

**bastard clown** : same here!

**Glorified Penguin** : please try not to hurt him too bad

**egg** : of course!

**Glorified Penguin** : and hopefully he wont hurt you three too bad.

**flower boy** : h

**egg** : i’ll wait for the two of you at the lor. please hurry

**bastard clown** : yup!

**flower boy** : on my way!

**Glorified Penguin** : good luck

\---

Magolor paced back in forth waiting for Marx and Taranza to arrive. His ears perked up as he saw two figures approaching.

“Welcome, welcome! Thank you two so much for coming with!” Magolor smiled at Marx and Taranza as they hurried onto the Lor.

“What’d you think we’d do, just let you get killed by Meta?” Marx questioned as he landed on the floor.

“Okay, fair.”

“So, how are we going to find the Halberd? It’s long gone by now,” Taranza asked, tilting his head slightly.

“That’s up to the Lor! It can track down the Halberd in no time!” Magolor held his hands in front of himself, clearly very proud of his idea. “But, of course, I do still need to pilot it. You two can stay in here and chat while I find the Halberd!”

“Got it! Let us know if you need any help!” Taranza called after Magolor. 

“So… I’m scared! What about you? Marx asked, tapping one of his claws with another.

“Oh I’m terrified,” Taranza said, letting out a dry laugh.

“I mean, there are three of us, we can probably get him down without seriously injuring him if we work together, but also this is Meta Knight,” Marx toyed with a puffball on his hat as he said this.

“Yeah, and we can’t forget the Meta-Knights, they follow his every order,” Taranza paced around the main room in the Lor.

“This is gonna be fun, huh?” Marx turned towards Taranza.

“Yep,” he smiled without a trace of humor.

“So what are-”

“Found it!” Magolor’s voice called out of a speaker, causing his two guests to jump.

“I’ll create a portal to their location, you might feel a bit of turbulence!” the speaker his voice was coming from clicked off.

“So! We’re about to get to the Halberd huh?” Marx said, trying to stabilize himself as the Lor shook.

“Yep, now we’re really getting to the fun part,” Taranza’s smile was humorless. The speaker crackled to life again.

“Okay so it seems the halberd’s cannons are firing! So prepare for even more shaking so I can keep us from getting hit!” 

“Oh joy,” Taranza said as Marx fell over from the Lor veering to the right.

“I’m good!” Marx shouted, jumping up. Only to fall right back over as the Lor shifted left.

“Well, at least I’m getting some form of amusement from watching you fall over,” Taranza laughed at Marx’s ‘offended’ expression.

“Hey! Fuck you!” Marx said, trying to get up again. And once again he fell right back over.

“You might as well just stay on the floor. There’s no way you’re getting back up,” Taranza smiled in amusement at the frustrated jester. Marx just sighed and lied back down on the floor. The speakers crackled again and…

“Oh shit.”

\---

**Taranza** : THE LOR’S BEEN HIT, WE NEED HELP AND QUICK

_**Several people are typing...** _

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've made! Its inspired by Guessing Games by phoelynfabulous and Why would you give everyone a cell phone by CrackheadMossMan, so you should definitely check them out!


End file.
